Just one glance of your eyes.

Yesterday was a really intense day of teaching and worship.
This guy named Wes Chapman, who looks quite like my brother, did the teaching.
He was so passionate about talking about the brokeness of God.
He explained that God would take physical suffering of bearing the cross everyday over
the emotional suffering and grief he goes through everyday.

Earlier, God had already told me to read Song of Songs. I kept reading so much and just felt like God was directing me there.
During the worship time after the teaching we sang that song Majesty

Here I stand,
knowing that I'm your desire,
sanctified by glory and fire.

I had never felt like God desired me before yesterday. I felt needed and wanted and that God was pursuing me.
I mailed a very important letter. It was so hard but I know will be good. Thank the Lord for Nathan.

During my work duty, I played with this little girl from Africa who is named Maddie. She is the most beautiful child in the world and for some reason I just saw Jesus in her. She blessed my heart.

We had another worship time around 3 in the prayer chapel. I already felt such a release from the other night. God kept giving me words for people that made sense to them and where what they needed.
He gave me a vision of a ribbon. One string was being pulled out of the ribbon, and one by one the whole thing began to unravel. It didn't stop until a knot was put at the unraveling.
I felt like God was saying one temptation can start the whole process all over again, and until God knots our lives, and stops the root of the problem, we will continue on the downward cycle.

I've made two new good friends, Kyle and Max. I've been able to talk to them alot about their lives and minister to them, and in return God has given them alot of insight. The guys here are phenomenal. They are so tender hearted, at least to me, and are sensitive to what they say to me.

Then last night we finished up the broken heart of God. We were instructed to ask Jesus to do whatever He wanted to with us. Then Wes began to read from a doctors perspective of the actual physical pain Jesus went through on the cross.
I wept bitterly. I haven't cried that hard in a long time. During parts of it I was practically gagging. I saw it all in my head and saw exactly what Jesus actually went through.
By the end of it, pretty much my whole school was just weeping out to God. We didn't understand why He did it for us. At that point Wes told us to ask Jesus why He did it.
I can't even explain what happened next, but I lifted my arms out to Jesus and I felt him hug me. People always say that if you were the ONLY person on the earth, He still would have done it. I never understood that before last night. I'm worth something to Jesus and I'm worth everything to Jesus.

God is completely tearing down my foundation for everything and building it back up. I'm starting over in a complete new way and really in everyway.
I'm starting over so my foundation is solid.

Last night was the beginning of the foundation:
Knowing the love of Jesus and to the extent he does.

I finally returned to my first love.