Filling of the Holy Spirit.

"Don't judge the rest of your life by your circumstances today."

Yesterday we talked about the Holy Spirit and spiritual gifts. The speaker was the school of worship leader who is a really fantastic person. He focused on so much of the Holy Spirit(I think I took four pages of notes) and all different aspects of it.
I really enjoyed it because he didn't just speak about spiritual gifts, but the reason behind it and the reason why we need the Holy Spirit. Every point was backed up in scripture and it was just awesome.

During the prayer chapel time, I was under alot of spiritual attack. I was dealing with alot of jealousy issues and I felt like my insecurity was coming back. Everytime I give something over to the Lord it's as if something is thrown back at me. Anyways, I just continued to pray and press in to the worship time.
Even though everyone was praying about something else, God already started to speak to me about what He wanted to give me that night.
I felt like God wanted to take out my spirit of timidity and give me a spirit of boldness. However at the same time, I felt like God was telling me that my spirit needed to be at peace at all times unless He was the one who stirred it up. If my spirit was at peace, I could hear the Holy Spirit and hear what He had to say to me whenever. I felt like He was saying i was going to be able to give words of knowledge and when I did, I could say them boldly and with confidence.

I finally talked to my parents, thank the Lord. Even though everything went well, it was hard to go straight into teaching and worship.
I still tried to press into worship. I just closed my eyes and began to pray. Some staff members came over to me and started praying for the filling of the spirit. Nothing outwardly "intense" happened to me that I hadn't experience or anything, but the staff member Katy began to tell me what she felt like the Holy Spirit was saying.
"I feel like you have the freedom but you wont accept it. God wants to give you the freedom, and then use your hands to bring freedom to others and bring freedom to places."

I fell on my face and just layed there. It hit me then how much I was forgiven again. I knew I had been over the past few days, but I guess I was still worried about something. I layed there without opening my eyes and just asked God to change my eyes to see something different and new about myself. I asked God to change my eyes to not judge others but to see the beauty in them. And when I opened my eyes I really felt it.
I don't know if its because I don't really care about how these people think of me, because they love me, or if it's God yet. But I just feel great here. I feel great about how i look. And I don't think its a bad thing as long as I'm not proud. It'a good feeling not to hate yourself.

So my foundation is still being built.
-The love of Jesus and how much He does.
-Forgiveness of yourself and others
-The Holy Spirit living in you.